Being Christ

"We exist to be little Christ's, Not Little Ladder Climbers, Not Little Control Freaks, Not Little Convenience Dwellers.  Simply little giving Christ's.  Not ever in a way that's divine, but simply, always, and in every way, disciples.
The term "Christian" means exactly that- little Christ."  -Ann Voscamp


Lord, I am failing.  Please help me to be You to those I come in contact with every day.  Help me to love like You, be patient like You, give like You, be gentle like You, be kind like You, be joyfull in all things, and... to LOVE like You.  I know I already said that, but... thank you.  -Rachel

May my hands be Christ's

"There's more than a thousand ways for Christ to have hands in a busted world so the brokenhearted can find a deeper kind of whole." - Ann Voscamp

Lord, may my hands be yours.  Give me your heart and help me to see others the way you do.  Lead me and guide me where you want me to go.

Another visit with Tim

Yesterday I picked up Martha and we drove out to Newark for another visit with Tim.  He, like always, was happy to see us and eager to go out for a ride.  He seemed more there today, and when we got in the car I wanted to listen to Dad play his guitar and harmonica on CD for us.  It's like having a little piece of him on our visit, so I said, "Let's find Dad!"  As soon as I said that he looked right at me... probably thought I was a bit crazy.  Along the ride he looked at me and smiled just like he used to.  I love his smile and told him so.  Martha and I chatted on the ride, asking Tim a few questions along the way, but he didn't respond.  I noticed he had a small gash with a fading bruise above his left eye and couldn't help but wonder if he's being treated well... after all, he was being abused by a caretaker (who has been fired) not too long ago, and there is an investigation that is still incomplete.  When we dropped him off at his home he gave me a nice, sweet, tight (but not too tight) hug.  He hasn't given me one like that since our dad died.  Martha had gone to sign him back in, and I felt bad that she missed out.  He's usually in a hurry to get to the bathroom and isn't always so generous with his hugs, but you never know when he'll have a special surprise hug for you... you just never know.

Michael's haircut

He wouldn't pose for a photo, but Michael got his hair cut today.  He went to the barber for the 1st time since he was about 8 (he usually either buzzes it with the clippers or Flowbees it.  That's the haircutting machine that hooks up to a vacuum cleaner.) He had grown his hair so long, and he has so much of it that it was just too much.  He said he wanted to do something a little different with it.  He told the barber to leave it longer on the top.  He reminds me so much of my dad with this haircut.  Now when he pushes his food around on his plate while he's talking over dinner tonight, he will remind me even more of my dad than ever. :)

Taking a Break

I am taking a much needed break from facebook (even though I really don't want to) to get my priorities straight.  I found it to be taking up way too much of my time.  I'm really not sure when I'll go back to it.  I've ordered a great book, The Broken Way, by Ann Voscamp, and am looking forward to it coming in the mail soon.  I even vacuumed, did 2 loads of laundry, washed, dried and put away dishes, and cleaned out the fridge before I left for work this morning.  It's amazing what I can get done when I'm not scanning through facebook all the time. :)

Visits with Tim

On Christmas Eve Martha and I took a drive out to Newark to visit Tim.  Martha baked him an apple pie for Christmas and brought it for him to share with some at his home.  He was thrilled.  We had a nice ride and he seemed more alert today... less drugs, I'm sure of it.  When we got back to his place after our ride, he even posed for a picture with Martha and I, and with a smile on his face!

Yesterday I went to see him alone because Jim and Michele were visiting from Minnesota.  I told Tim that, and that Martha loved him and would come the next time.  He seemed a little zombie like when I picked him up, although he was happy to see me, as usual.   His shoe laces were all untied and I was afraid he might trip on them so I tied them for him.  He quickly ate his goodies, as usual, some baby carrots, wheat thins, and a few small store bought cookies.  I got my face in his in the car (at a stoplight) for some forced eye contact, and he looked at me with warm eyes and smiled.