His Mercies Are New Every Morning!

So glad God doesn't say no to us and shut us out because we failed at something the previous day...

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every  morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 ❤️🤗

Prone to Wander

“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters. . . . Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food” (Isaiah 55:1–2)

Why is it, that despite my truest convictions and best intentions, I allow myself to be distracted by the meaningless? The scrolling can seem endless some mornings as there are many things I "must" check...and before I know it it's already 11:00am with many things to do, and off I go to work, shop, play Pickleball, visit friends, happy hour, whatever it may be.... all while being spiritually empty and powerless..😭 Unwittingly, I am choosing captivity over freedom. I am choosing dryness and ineffectiveness over God's power in me, and am not able to be used by Him to affect the lost souls all around me. I am being robbed all too often by the one who hates me and seeks to destroy me and anyone else who allows him.

How will I battle the devil and his demons?  What will I do to thwart the evil forces set against my daily devotions?

God, help me to seek You simply, to gather a day’s portion each morning before I start my day, that I could get a glimpse of the world through your eyes and have your compassion and share your love with those who I wouldn't normally see (or if I do, might be annoyed by rather than feel compassion for). I am a worthless and empty vessel without You God, longing for your power, but all too often not having an ounce of it to share. Forgive me for being a disobedient time waster. Keep fresh in my mind the battle I face each day. Thank you for the impact of my parents and other Christians you have placed in my life.

Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be
Let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, oh take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

Here's my heart
Oh take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

He doesn't like cameras...

Did I ever mention how much my brother hates having his picture taken? This is how cooperative he felt like being a few days ago.😂 So silly.

Do something extraordinary...

Your place, your people, your potential, your time...it's all aligned, by His design, for this moment in history so that He can use you to do something extraordinary.

Unto Him (Jude 24-25) [Live] | Official Lyric Video | Shane & Shane

In this crazy world I find comfort in songs like this. Lord Jesus, please come quickly. We are one hot mess here.

Send Me

May I be open to the opportunities you put in front of me this week. Give me your eyes to see the needs all around me, and the strength to avoid the useless distractions. Help me to love as you do...

If it's bandaging the broken
Or washing filthy feet
Here I am, Lord, send me
If it's loving one another
Even when we don't agree
Here I am, Lord, send me

If I'm known by how I love
Let my life reflect how much I love You
I love You
And before You even ask
Oh, my answer will be, yes, 'cause I love You
I love You

Lord, give me your eyes ...

She's depressed and tells me she hasn't gotten off the couch or brushed her teeth in weeks. Her teeth are covered in heavy calculus, and her gums are bleeding because of the lack of care. I've heard her groans and have seen her cry many times. She used to annoy me when I saw her, after all, I had a schedule to keep, and she slowed me way down and made me run behind. Today, I can't understand why I lacked compassion for her. I am not annoyed, in fact my heart breaks for her. She hasn't changed her ways, but God is changing my heart. She asks me if I've watched the news. I tell her that I stay away from it. She says, "But you have to be informed". I tell her I used to think the same, but tell her I'm a lot happier when I focus on positive things, things that I know are true. I don't know with the news anymore. I talk to her about Jesus and the Bible and she asks me if I'm a "born again Christian". I tell her yes. I encourage her. I think I could have and should have said more... She falls asleep in my chair during her cleaning. It was at least the 3rd time I've seen her, but she tells the girl at the front desk "That was the best Hygienist I've ever had!", and the front desk girl comes back to tell me. Maybe she saw Jesus in me. I prayed for her last night. Maybe I can do more for her...

Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missin'
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see

Then Christ Came...❤️

Blessings...

 1. I am glad that God is in the details of my life, and that I am known and loved by Him.

2. I can give God everything that concerns me...the threat of politics, wars, trends...  Nothing is a surprise to Him, and He is still in control of ALL things, therefore there is no need to panic or feel overwhelmed.

3. Everything that comes into my life first passes through the hands of my Heavenly Father. He graciously oversees all things and is there to encourage me.

Tooth.less

They called and said they were sending out a consent form. I signed it yesterday. He has 3 severely loose teeth on his lower anterior. I knew he was chewing different, but he doesn't show me his teeth. They are afraid he's going to aspirate them, so they are going to remove them. My poor brother. One more loss for him. I spoke with his hygienist and she said he comes every 3 months to have them cleaned, and for now everything else seems stable. For that I am grateful. 

Phil Wickham - It's Always Been You (Official Music Video)

Why do I so very often forfeit calm, peaceful mornings with my Savior, for the noise and rush of life, forgetting to stop and thank Him while I'm living? Why? Dear God, help me be the woman you created me to be. 

Thursday visit with Tim

Last night I called my brother's house to see why the last few times I've gone to see him, he's slept through the entire visit, only waking to eat the lunch I buy for him. I spoke with the supervisor at his home. She told me that he's not on medications that should make him sleepy, and she said he's been sleeping well at night. The only explanation she had for me is that "he's declining due to his age". I don't buy it. He's 63. It's not that he can't be, but I find it more likely they're giving him some sort of tranquilizer to make their job easier. I had told him the last time I went to visit that I wouldn't be making the almost hour drive to visit in 2 weeks, but would try in 3 weeks instead. I was feeling frustrated at the fact that he just wanted to sleep, but then I found myself teary later, at the fact that maybe I had hurt his feelings or made him feel less than in some way, and I don't want him to feel unloved, so today I went. It was 2 weeks since I last saw him. I arrived at about 11:30, about 15-20 minutes before they're given lunch. I could hear him complaining about something when I walked in the door. 

As soon as I walked over to him and talked to him, he stopped complaining, looked up at me and grabbed my hand. He let go of me so I could sign him out, but quickly wheeled his chair over to me so we could escape out the nearest exit.

I wheeled him out to the car, helped him get in, and gave him some trail mix and an apple I had brought. I turned on my dad's music, and off we went for a drive through the towns. I took a new route this time, writing down my turns so that I didn't get lost. He stayed awake and alert the whole time, really seeming to enjoy his time away from home.

We saw lots of farms, tractors, and flowering trees, which makes me happy. Spring can't come soon enough! At the end of our ride I took him through the Wendy's drive through for a combo meal. His choice today: A grilled chicken sandwich, fries and a small chocolate frosty. We pulled over to a secluded spot in the parking lot and I helped him eat....because he's a pretty messy eater. It was good to see him and he seemed happy to see me as well.  So glad I went. I think he needed to get out and get some fresh air and a change of scenery today. Love that guy!💓
 

Things that spoke to me today...

The enemy cannot touch what God has appointed, unless we give him permission. God has called you to succeed in your purpose because he believes in you and created you for that specific thing.

"You my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh: rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13

Charity Gayle - Thank You Jesus for the Blood (Live)

Blessed are the pure in heart

Blessed are the pure in heart-
"Self discipline, repression, and rational arguement are inadequate weapons to use in fighting the impulse toward impurity. Muriac ont found one reason to be pure, and that is what Jesus presented in the Beatitudes. 'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Muriac's words, "Impurity separates us from God. The spiritual life obeys laws as verifiable as those of the physical world...Purity is the condition for a higher love- for a possession superior to all possessions: that of God, Yes, that is what is at stake, and nothing less."

"Reading Muriac's words did not end my struggle, but I must say beyond all doubt that I have found his analysis to be true. The love God holds out to us requires that our faculties be cleansed and purified before we can receive a higher love, one attainable in no other way. That is the motive to stay pure. By harboring lust, I limit my own intimacy with God. The pure in heart are truly blessed, for they will see God. It is as simple, and as difficult, as that."

Scared Little Fishies...

"I learned a lesson about incarnation when I kept a salt water aquarium. Management of a marine aquarium. I discovered, is no easy task.  I had to run a portable chemical laboratory to monitor the nitrate levels and the ammonia content. I pumped in vitamins and antibiotics and sulfa drugs, and enough enzymes to make a rock grow. I filtered the water through glass fibers and charcoal, and exposed it to ultraviolet light. You would think in view of all the energy expended on their behalf, that my fish would at least be grateful. Not so. Every time my shadow loomed above the tank they dove for cover into the nearest shell. They showed me one "emotion" only: fear. Although I opened the lid and dropped in food on a regular schedule, three times a day, they responded to each visit as a sure sign of my designs to torture them. I could not convince them of my true concern.
To my fish I was diety. I was too large for them, my actions too incomprehensible. My acts of mercy they saw as cruelty; my attempts at healing they viewed as destruction. To change their perceptions, I began to see, would require a form of incarnation. I would have to become a fish and "speak" to them in a language they could understand.
A human being becoming a fish is nothing compared to God becoming a baby, and yet according to the gospels that is what happened at Bethlehem. The God who created matter took shape within it, as an artist might become a spot on a painting or a playwright a character within his own play. God wrote a story, only using real characters, on the pages of real history. The Word became flesh."

I really loved this analogy. I'm taking a break from Facebook for a time during this quarantine. Instead, I have been reading "The Jesus I Never Knew" by Philip Yancy. I'm enjoying it.

Thankful

Meghan, Tim's Care Coordinator, called me and left a message on our voice mail today.  I had spoke with her this morning regarding Tim's possible move to Rush.  The move is on hold!!!!  She said PT is going to reevaluate him on Tuesday.  If he's doing well walking, he will be staying at his home in Newark for now.  Praying that he walks well. :)

Confused

So on Tuesday while I was at work, Renee from DDSO called.  She left a message on my voice mail about moving Tim to a house in Rush... because he isn't walking well (she says), and it's a dire emergency to move him at this time.  There are a few problems I have with this.  The house is NOT a home.  It looks uncared for and uninviting from the outside, just a dull place in the middle of nowhere.

The inside leave much to be desired as well.  It's large, echoey, and cold, and I don't mean just the temperature, but the whole look.  To top it off, I was told by someone that the residents there are low functioning.  My brother is not.  Of course, my sisters and I are against the move, but it's being forced.  I was on speaker phone Wednesday morning with Renee, Kim, and Wes King, all trying to persuade me of how badly Tim needs this "for his own safety".  BUT every time we see him he's walking great, and I told them this.  It was to no avail though, as I was once again told that he trips over the thresh hold, can not do the stairs easily, and shuffles his feet, causing someone to need to walk with him at all times.  I ended up in tears, and decided to pop in on Tim for a visit later that afternoon.  When I got there, he was having a fit as Erin was putting a Depends on him so that he could go for a ride with me...I have them do this because he has wet my car seat on a few occasions.  She hadn't told him I was coming because I had failed to say exactly when I was going to be there, and she didn't want to overly excite him.  When he saw me, he instantly settled, grabbed my hand, and we were off!  He had no trouble walking, in fact he practically ran down the front steps, his hand in mine.  Once again I was failing to see his difficulty walking, and the emergency to move him out of the home he has known for 20 years, aside from a 3 year stint in a house across the street when he was put on a med that suddenly took away his ability to walk on his own.  "Is he on a new medication?", I had asked at the time.  "Nope, nothing new", I was told.  Very shortly after he was moved his ability to walk suddenly came back.  When I inquired as to why he had lost his ability to walk and then regained it as if nothing had ever happened, I was told, "We took him off of the new medication".  But I thought he wasn't on a new med?  We had been lied to.  They moved him back into his home 3 years later when an opening became available, but a few short months later he "tripped over the leg of a chair" and walked with a limp after hurting his lag when he fell.  Since that time they have said his walking has gotten worse and worse....although we don't see a problem at all.  I have been told he has "Athritis in his spine" and "He has a drug induced Parkinson like disorder that's only going to get worse". "He's not on any new meds", we are told once again.  I did talk to Tim about the whole situation as we drove down the country roads through Yates County.  I told him that we don't think the Rush house is a good move for him, and he told me he doesn't want to move.  Upon our return back to his home, he took off for the bathroom (unassisted) to remove his Depend, and came back to the kitchen (unassisted) to usher me toward the door.  He did not shuffle his feet or seem unsteady.  I'm thinking they want to move him to make room for someone else.  We are praying that God allows him to stay where he is until something opens up with Heritage homes.  I wish they would return my calls.

This is us a couple of weeks ago on our visit.  I love him,

Pondering...

After hearing he had a bad day the day before, yesterday I went to see my brother.  He had a purple, swollen ear from hitting himself, bruised cartilage, they said.  He excitedly took my hand and we walked out to the car together.  I hadn't even had a chance to sign him out yet.  As we walked out to the car I asked him what was bothering him, but got no response.  I'm used to it. That's normal for him, he's autistic. We got in the car, and he ate the treats I brought for him...a banana, some peanut butter pretzel bites, and Oreo thins.  As I drove along the country roads, we listened to a CD of my dad playing his guitar and harmonica.  Tim cried off and on, which means I did too.  At the end of our ride we stopped at Wendy's to get a small chocolate Frosty.  As usual, he ate it at warp speed.  After he's finished I usually take him home, but I had brought my tablet to see if I could get him to "talk" to me on it. (I haven't done that in a long time because he doesn't usually do anything with it) I asked him what was wrong as I handed him the tablet.  He looked at the screen and swirled his finger around on it, without actually pushing the separate letters, and handed it back to me.  Fully expecting there to be nothing legible on the screen, I read, "home".  I told him what it said and asked him if it was a mistake or if he meant to say that, after all, I had no idea you could write something that way, but I tried it afterwards and found out I learned something new!  He looked me in the eye and said, "Home".  He wanted me to take him home... or so I thought.  Maybe he did, but my sister said that maybe home is what's bothering him.  I was so sure he didn't want to tell me and just wanted me to take him home (and maybe that is the case), but now I need to go back and find out what he meant.  They want to move him to a new home because he's not walking great these days, so maybe he's tired of hearing about it, or dreading it (he was abused at the last one) or something.  In any case, he talked to me, and that is something I always treasure.

Reminded how much God loves me this morning... Nathan and Bethany singing

1	The love of God is greater far   Than tongue or pen can ever tell. It goes beyond the highest star   And reaches to the lowest hell. The guilty pair, bowed down with care,   God gave His Son to win; His erring child He reconciled   And pardoned from his sin.
	O love of God, how rich and pure!   How measureless and strong! It shall forevermore endure—     The saints’ and angels’ song.
2	When hoary time shall pass away,   And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall; When men who here refuse to pray,   On rocks and hills and mountains call; God’s love, so sure, shall still endure,   All measureless and strong; Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—   The saints’ and angels’ song.
3	Could we with ink the ocean fill,   And were the skies of parchment made; Were every stalk on earth a quill,   And every man a scribe by trade; To write the love of God above   Would drain the ocean dry; Nor could the scroll contain the whole,   Though stretched from sky to sky.