Feeling blessed

Every other Wednesday since my dad got sick with late stage cancer, I have picked up my mom to go visit my brother, Tim, in Newark, NY. He was brain damaged at birth when the Drs made a mistake and gave my mother too much Pitosin (sp?), which caused her to stop breathing. We drive about 40 min to get to his house, and then take him out for a drive where we talk to him and enjoy the scenery. He doesn't answer us back when we ask him questions, but I know he understands. When I talk about different things along our drive, such as a camper parked in a bunch of trees, or a beautiful horse, he always looks at what I'm talking about. Sometimes I talk to him about my kids or our sister's kids. Today I told him that Martha and James have put their house up for sale, and when it sells they will move to a property that is easier for them to take care of. At the end of our drive we go through the Wendy's drive through, where we all get a small chocolate frosty...Mmmmmm! We sit there in the car just enjoying each other's company, and people watching. For the last 2 or 3 visits at the end of our time together, Tim gives us each the most wonderful, loving hug. He has never done this with me until recently and I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. I know that when my dad got sick, the rest of my family became so much more special...not that they weren't before, but when you know you're going to lose someone you love, you realize that sometimes you take for granted what you have, and you treasure them so much more. I can't help but wonder if my brother feels this same way because when he hugs us it's almost as if he doesn't want to let go. Visiting him has become such a blessing, something I really look forward to.

Taking time to be silent

Psalm 46:10- Be still and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth.

Psalm 4:4- When you are disturbed, do not sin. Ponder it on your beds and be silent.

Psalm 62:1- For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.

Today I worked all day and then had a staff meeting afterward. I got home around 5:40pm, made dinner, ate with my family, chatted for a bit with the kids, and headed off to small group with Dave. Mondays can be crazy, and I often feel too tired to go to small group . Staying home and relaxing with my family is much more appealing, but I always feel so blessed after getting together with this special group of friends. Tonight we talked about our schedules and our daily distractions. I have to admit, my life is pretty "noisy". How can I possibly hear God's voice if I'm not taking the time to just be silent and listen? I feel ashamed that I have allowed my life to be cluttered with so many insignificant things, and haven't taken the time for some of the more meaningful things. I know it may be a struggle at first, but I want to take time every day just to be silent and listen. I think having a day where no electronics are allowed is a good idea too. I wonder what we'll find to do as a family!!...

Goings on...

Saturday while I was doing laundry and general pick up of clutter, I noticed that Steven had taken my vacuum cleaner apart to examine it. He is very interested in how these things work. I suppose it's good experience for him to do stuff like this. It actually reminds me a bit of my Grandpa Plotzker who was very good at taking broken things apart and making them like brand new again.
On Sunday afternoon Dave and I went out in search of new mattresses for our kids. The ones that they have been using were very old and were given to us by Dave's parents. Lately the boys have been having allergy symptoms (mostly in the morning) and it killed me to think what was inside those old mattresses. The box springs were the old metal kind. Anyway, the new mattresses came today and I have covered them with dust mite covers. I had told Steven that when their new mattresses came their beds would be higher, but it is higher than I had imagined. Their bed frames look like miniature frames now, the headboard is barely even visible. I had to clip his reading light on the shelf above his bed since his headboard is now too low.

I wonder what Michael will say when he sees this picture. The little bunny sitting on his bed is Cutie Bunny. He has been Michael's favorite stuffed animal since Michael was 2 yrs old, and he has taken many trips with us (including our trip to Florida last month). Michael snuck him to Florida for his traditional ride on the ceiling fan...so he says. ;) He no longer sits on Michael's bed though since Michael is now almost 15, but has been sitting on a shelf. I think Cutie deserves a place on Michael's bed regardless of Michael's age. :)

Just Playin...

Today the boys and I went to visit Mom, Leta, and Lucas. Lucas loved it when Michael played with him.

Mom was feeling playful too. I think Lucas is keeping her young. :)

Lucas wanted to try the cup on his head, just like his Great Grandma.

She sure does have lots of entertainment with him around.

It's a Winter Wonderland Out There!!

The kids got their wish today and got their first snow day. We got a lot of snow. Poor Koty has a hard time moving through it all. Dave will go out with the snow blower today and snow blow Koty a spot to go to potty.

This is the little tree in our side yard.

Koty will be a mess every time he goes out. Little snowballs get stuck in his long fur. Oh well, it gives him something to do for a while after he comes in. He's happily grooming himself right now...even though Michael brushed him a bit.

Hooray for snow!!

Florida Vacation

On Sunday we returned home from our annual Florida vacation.

Even though the weather was only in the high 50's for the whole week, the kids still managed to swim several times in the heated swimming pool. I couldn't bring myself to get in with the air being so cool.

One day we took a drive up to Tampa to the aquarium. Some of the creatures were interesting to look at, but the $20.00 per person fee was a bit steep for what we saw...in our opinion anyway, although it did give us something to do.

I enjoyed our walk on the beach. There were no people in swim suits like there usually is (well, maybe a crazy few). This was our only trip to the beach this year.

What fun 2 teenage boys can have with a girl's hair clip. They had more fun wrestling one other in the pool trying to clip it into each other's hair.

We also HAD to make our traditional trip to SweetBerries for frozen custard. Yummo! This is some of the best frozen custard I have ever tasted. They tip your cup upside down right before they hand it to you to show you how thick and creamy it is.

Here is my cute honey enjoying one of his first bites. I forgot to turn my fill flash on, but love the picture anyhow due to the cute little boy look on his face.

Some friends of ours watched our dog for us while we were away. He must have had a blast because he was exhausted. As soon as we walked in the door, he plopped himself down right here for a snooze.

The drive home seemed exceptionally difficult for me this year. I hardly slept a wink the whole way home (22 hrs) and had to get up very early for work Monday morning. For me this is a recipe for a migraine, and I got one. It was awful, bringing vomiting with it. No migraine meds helped this time. I spent the entire day today on the couch, finally getting up at 4;30pm. Maybe next year we'll fly...

Big Chocolate!

This evening I went to get a scoop of Panda Paws ice cream. I found a hunk of chocolate in there that was bigger than my ice cream scoop. I wonder who will eat it...

Not much going on here lately, just the normal stuff. I took Mom for a hair cut today and then visited her for about an hour and a half at her house. We worked on a jigsaw puzzle together in her dining room. Then I did a little shopping for a new dinner recipe I wanted to try. It was a chicken and noodle recipe with a burgundy gravy with carrots, mushrooms, and onions, and seasoned with garlic, marjoram, thyme, a bay leaf, parsley and salt and pepper. It reminded me a little of Beef Burgundy, but with chicken, and was served over noodles. It was pretty tasty, but I don't think a favorite. My honey came home from Schenectady this evening. He went there yesterday morning for work. Unfortunately, I don't sleep too good when he's not here, and I didn't get to sleep until 2:30am. :\ Had fun playing Boom Blox with Steven tonight and then watching Michael play some Wii balance games. Tomorrow is a busy day filled with Drs appt, getting car looked at and hopefully fixed (check engine light came on) and it's due for an inspection.

Time to have my devotions. Good night!

Snowy Day

This morning we woke up to lots of fresh snow on the ground. It was snowing pretty hard and I wondered if church might be cancelled, but couldn't find any evidence that it was, so off we went. There was church, although not nearly as many people were there today as there usually are. As soon as we got home Dave got to work snow blowing our driveway.

I feel like cooking something really yummy today. I think I'll try something new! Now, off to find a recipe...

Writings of a 15 year old boy

I finished reading one of my dad's diary's last night. I laughed out loud at some things and cried when I read others. One of the most amazing things to me was when I found out...I'll write about it some other time.

I sure do miss my daddy, wish I could wrap my arms around his neck and give him a great big hug.

Feeling a Little Blue

Today is a sad day for me. I just can't seem to pull myself together. I'm sure my hormones aren't helping any, but the Holidays have proven to be more difficult than I thought they would be without my dad. I know God's plan is best and that Dad is in a better place, but I'm missing him an extra lot today.

Busy, busy...

It's frigid outside, a great night to cuddle up and watch a movie ("It's a Wonderful Life") with my family.

Earlier today I worked for one of the Hygienists in our office who just lost her mom. I worked 4 days this week rather than my usual 2. When I was cleaning my 2nd patient's teeth (she had very large salivary glands in her cheeks), her right salivary gland got sucked into the saliva ejector. I turned off the suction immediately, but the gland was stuck. Inside I was panicking. My poor patient wanted to rinse, but she couldn't because the suction tip was dangling from her cheek. After a minute or so, I was able to pull it off. She will have a bruised salivary gland for a couple days, but she didn't have to go home with the saliva ejector hanging out of her mouth. This was her very 1st cleaning in our office....great 1st impression. She was very sweet though and will be back to see me in a few months. :)

I got off work early to attend a Christmas Tea at my brother Tim's house. I picked up my mom and my aunt and we headed out for the almost 1 hour drive there. It was nice to spend some time with him, and I enjoyed it when he laughed at me for being a little nervous that he was going to eat a chicken wing bone. He's had brain damage since birth, so when I get a reaction out of him, I treasure it since he is usually pretty stoic. Martha, Hannah, Ben, and Priscilla were also there. I forgot to bring my camera along, so Martha is going to share some photos of hers with me.

It was Chinese food for dinner tonight since I didn't feel like cooking.

Winter has arrived!

Winter has finally arrived in Rochester, NY. We have our 1st real snow accumulation. This morning I was 20 min late for work since the roads were slick and people were using extra caution in getting where they had to go. I had a nice day at work and thought I was going to get to leave a little bit early, but my last patient of the day came 40 minutes late for her appointment and I didn't have the heart to turn her away since she sat in traffic and had a miserable time trying to make it to her appointment on time. I got out of work a half hour late instead, and my drive home was slow going. It was snowing, and the roads hadn't been plowed. I arrived to my warm, cozy home an hour after I left work, and it usually takes me about 20 minutes. It is a whopping 16 degrees outside right now...brrr, but in spite of my traveling difficulties today I feel happy to have some wintry weather. :) Tonight the cold didn't keep me indoors, for there was a little someone who needed to get some fresh air, so out we went to take a quick little walk around our circle.

Tonight I made Christmas cut outs for the boys and then listened to them fight while they frosted them...they seem to do this a lot lately. :\ Now I am showered, cozy, and ready for bed....someone else looks cozy and ready for bed too.

Sick Boy

This has been a tough week for Steven. You know he's sick when he actually has a shirt on in the house AND he's sitting in front of a hot fireplace (yesterday). He has had H1N1 (most likely) since Sunday morning and it is now Saturday. He seemed to start to get better mid week, but spiked a fever (104) again Thursday night. We took a trip to the Dr yesterday, who didn't like the fact that his fever had returned and after listening to his lungs suspected a secondary infection (bronchitis/pneumonia) starting. This morning his temperature is 100 and he seems like he's returning to his old self, yipee!!!!

Thanksgiving

Another Thanksgiving has passed. Yesterday was a wonderful day just being with family at my brother in law and sister Martha's house. There were 22 of us. The food was delicious! We worked on our traditional family puzzle, and the guys enjoyed a couple of games of Eucre. My brother in law, James, read a Bible passage and we discussed things we were thankful for. I have to admit, this was an emotional Thanksgiving for me. Everything seemed to remind me of my dad, and I found it a little hard to speak when it came time to say what we are thankful for...not because I'm not thankful, but because I am so thankful for what he has left all of us. God IS good.

The New Normal

Well, it has now been almost 2 months since my dad passed away, and things seem to have settled into a new normal. My nephew Dave, his pregnant wife Leta, and their almost year old son, have moved into my mom's house with her. I know this is a huge adjustment for all involved and I'm sure it's not always easy, but it comforts me to see Leta being such a servant to my mom. I have witnessed her preparing and bringing my mom her lunch, reminding her to take her medication, and spending time with her working on puzzles. Besides having different people living with her, every other Wednesday Mom and I take a 45 minute ride to my handicapped brother's house and take him out for a ride and to get a Frosty at Wendy's. This is something that she and dad always did together, but I am enjoying doing with her. Tim doesn't talk, but I know it means the world to him. Today I took Mom up to her Pulmonary specialist and we were both pleased to find out that she hasn't lost any lung function since her last visit in June. :) Thanksgiving will officially be here in 2 days and there is so much to be thankful for. I can't wait to hang with my family for the day and do just that with all of them...be thankful for God's goodness and love.

A Welcome Home For Dad

My wonderful, loving father passed into glory yesterday with all of us right by his side. Immediately after he took his last breath God sent a bright ray of sunshine through what had been a very cloud covered sky. The sun lasted just a few minutes, but was a reminder to us that God was very close. Then the clouds returned. I will be forever grateful for the blessing he was to me through the years. I am not crying tears for him, I promised him that I wouldn't cry for him when he was gone, but I am crying tears for me. (see the song below that reminds me of what he said to me) I miss him so much already.

All My Tears

When I heard this song tonight it reminded me of my dad. When we were talking the other day he said, "When I'm gone don't cry for me."

He Is

Father let the world just fade away
Let me feel Your presence in this place
Lord I've never been so weary
How I need to know You're near me
Father let the world just fade away
'Til I'm on my knees
'Til my heart can sing

He is
He was
He always will be
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is

Father let Your Holy Spirit sing
Let it calm this storm inside of me
As I stand amazed
Lift my hands and say

He is
He was
He always will be
He lives
He loves
He's always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still my soul

Through every fear
And every doubt
In every tear I shed
Down every road
I'm not alone
No matter where I am

He is
He was
He always will be
He lives
He loves
He's always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still my soul
Be still and know
Be still my soul
He is

My Dad

Last week had to have been one of the hardest weeks of my life, for I was told that my dad has pretty advanced lung cancer and is opting for no treatment. The fact that he is opting for no treatment is not surprising, he has never been one to run to Drs much and feels that when God wants to take him home to Heaven, he's ready. He isn't worried about his sickness or about the fact that he's going to die soon, for he knows he's going to a much better place, but instead he's more worried about my mom and the fact that he can no longer care for her the way he always has. Another concern of his is his nursing home ministry and his Open Door Mission ministry, and who will continue tell those people that there is hope in Jesus Christ if you trust Him as your personal Savior. My dad has been an inspiration to me my entire life, always encouraging, always praying for his children and grandchildren, always reading, memorizing, and quoting scripture. Not only will I never forget his wonderful Godly example when he is gone from this world, but the things that he did with us and all the hard work he did to provide for us. I hope I have many more months to spend with him, but I fear that our time will be much too short. I will savor every single minute I can. I know that God holds him and us in the palm of His hand and loves us immensely, and he will continue to do His work through all of this.
Dad, I want to say thank you for all your endless love and support through the years, and for all the prayers you prayed for me and for your Godly example. The legacy you will leave behind is great. I am so glad that when we are separated here through death, it is so temporary. I am looking forward to the day when we will be reunited in a much better place.

I love you,
Rachel

Sprinkler Fun!

This is for you, Bethany.